Stamford CT

You know you're from Stamford, CT when:You remember the Playwright and knew you could get served in there well before you were 21. You mourned the loss of The Villa and didn’t understand why it had to go in the first place.Your favorite dive bar is a toss-up between Burns and Murphy’s. Anything above Fairfield was “the sticks.”A disproportionately large percent of your graduating class went to UCONN. Several of your friends drive or used to drive a Jetta. Bridgeport is the scariest place in the world, and you resent the fact that the Stamford network on Facebook includes Bridgeport. You have been to Misquamicut.Swanky Franks has the best hot dog around and IS NOT sketchy.Stamford High’s Miss Blue terrified you and was also the butt of endless jokes. You used to think that no one in the US could buy beer after 8pm or on Sundays, until you discovered that you could go to New York and buy it. The bars might close at 2, but Port Chester is just 20 minutes away. Who's driving?You don't have an accent when you talk.You have known at least 2 preppy rich kids from Fairfield who listen to Phish.When someone brings up John Mayer or Katherine Heigl you say, “They’re from Connecticut” as if you know them personally.UCONN basketball rules and no one can tell you different.You still don't understand why people say that Connecticut is the richest state...Someone in your family works for Pitney Bowes. You think New Jersey is a toxic waste dump and no one can tell you otherwise.You don’t understand how Curley’s has managed to avoid the wrecking ball.You’ve seen someone throw up in Curley’s on more than one occasion. You almost shed a tear when the Stamford Diner closed and was replaced with a bank.You DID shed a tear when Duchess closed and was replaced by a bank.You root for the New York teams because we don’t have our own. If anybody asks, you're from just outside of New York City.You've never looked at a public bus schedule.The diner was the only place to hang out in high school before you realized that you could get into bars. Why the hell are we the “Nutmeg State?”You hung out at the Falls in high school and don’t care that it has an actual name now, it will always be “The Falls”You still call 9 Ball 9 Ball even though it changed its name. You think Fairfield County should be renamed “South Connecticut” and everything north of it “North Connecticut”You get pissed at anyone who doesn't know how to drive in the snow.You can name nearly all the members of the UCONN men's and women's basketball teams.You don't think you're a yuppie, but the rest of the country does.You only ski in Vermont or out West.There is absolutely nothing to do in the winter.You live twenty minutes from an Abercrombie & Fitch, J. Crew, or GAP.You sail, or know someone who does.Dunkin Donuts is lifeblood.Your family has more cars than legal drivers.You carry your keys on a carabineer, but you don't know how to rock climb.You feel for the homeless, but are not willing to give up the golf course land to develop a homeless shelter.You own every DMB CD.You know where all the speed traps are. You can't understand why people don't understand what you’re talking about when you refer to a "package" store.People actually wear sweaters around their necks.You've never taken public transportation.You know of at least one person who's house was totally trashed after a huge party.You have at least one friend whose house was built in the 1800's.Your house would cost half as much in any other state.At least one of your friends has a sick house on Shippan Point, right on the water.The worst smell you can think of is Shippan Point at low tide. You have hung out on “the Island.” Your biggest decision is whether to go to Hula Hanks or Thirsty Turtle. You can tell someone to meet you in “the Pit” and they’ll be waiting for you when you get there. You saved your soda cans for Dougie White.The name Kosbob is now an adjective, and you think the punishment of his attackers was way too harsh. You laugh when you hear people ask for a menu at Colony and don’t know why it’s called a Grill.You know that “Scalzi” isn’t just a park. You don’t mind waiting in line for an hour at DQ or paying $5.25 for a small Blizzard.You remember when Cove skating rink was the only one in town, you took skating or hockey lessons there and it was THE place to be on a Friday night.The summer fairs are better (and safer) than Playland. You know exactly the type of person driving any car with a Playland bumper sticker. You read the Police Blotter and know at least one person in it. The phrase, “As local as local news gets” is a joke. You remember when there were bars not owned by Post Road Entertainment. You remember Green’s Tavern before it was Casey’s.You can’t explain why High Ridge and Summer street have different names. You don’t know why Bull’s Head is an actual part of town when you could spit from one end of it to the other. You only listen to 1400WSTC when it snows. You remember when the Stamford Museum and Nature Center actually had animals and you got bitten or chased by a goose there. You’ve bought someone a gift at the Port Chester flea market. You remember when you could smoke in the mall. … and have a collection of A&W root beer mugs. … and were pissed when they closed. You shop at the commuter lot for used cars. You still think Crabshell and Paradise are the same place. Your high school spent more money on Astro-Turf than anything actually related to learning. You’ve skipped jury duty because you couldn’t find a parking spot.The 24-hour CVS on Newfield has saved your butt more than once.What is the big deal with the Balloon Parade anyway? Going to Temple had nothing to do with religion. You still have no idea what happened to the Playwright. You refer to Tiernan’s as “The Old Robin Hood”You’ve witnessed more than a handful of fights at the Villa. You still have tokens to The Varsity Club. You don’t know the difference between Exits 7 and 8 and figure that 8 only exists for people who missed 7. Anytime someone brings up Bobby Valentine, Gene Wilder, Hulk Hogan, or Cindi Lauper you say, “They’re from Stamford,” as if you know them personally. You understand everything on this list.You remember when the only theaters in town were Ridgeway, Avon and the State. You know that you can always catch a cheap movie at the State and there is only one person there to take your ticket, get drinks and snacks from, rip your ticket and play security guard.You’ve hurt yourself sledding at Cummings on the “Bump.”You remember when the Falls and the Cummings parking lot weren’t just Mexican and Puerto Rican hangouts. You or someone you know has been harassed by the cops just for having a hooked up car not for doing anything wrong.You remember Tower Records on High Ridge road and even know that it was the Bed Bath and Beyond before that. You know if you need gas after 11:00 you better go to Food Bag or Exit 9.You remember when there were two real hospitals in Stamford. You know you aren't getting out of a ticket if you're pulled over by Levine!! Dougie White has tried to kiss you, Dougie Black has asked you for money, and the crazy bum in the skirt has yelled at you.Danny Frat almost got arrested for riding his imaginary horse Headache down High Ridge.You remember when there were no Starbucks, Donuts Delight, or Cold Stone.You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Connecticut. When a new friend gave you their phone number, you knew what part of town they lived in from the first three digits. 323 is Glenbrook, 329 was North Stamford, etc.